Well, isn’t that a kick in the dick!?

On Monday afternoon, Houston Texans wide receiver Will Fuller V and cornerback Bradley Roby were suspended for six games for violating the NFL’s policy on performance-enhancing substances.

BY: JAY MANN

Will Fuller is the second WR1 the Texans have lost this year. After losing Nuk (Hopkins) in that tire fire of an offseason, Fuller slid into the WR1 slot like a thirsty, dad-bod having 40 something would into…insert any hot girl’s name here…DM’s.

After bursting onto the NFL scene like the Kool-Aid man, “OH YEAH!” in the first four games of his rookie campaign (19-323-2 and a 67-yard punt return for a TD), he assumed the supporting role for the remainder of his inaugural season. He would stay there for three more years, behind Nuk, none of which he played a full 16 games in. That’s history, kind of like his career may be in Houston.

In both a career and contract year, albeit shortened…again, Fuller has played at a true WR1 level through the first…well, only 11 games this year, posting a more than respectable line (53-879-8). His bad decisions apparently started while doing his hair in the dark and not walking by a mirror. His skinny ass looks like the mop the janitors in grade school used after cleaning up that pile of little Johnny’s puke and sawdust.

Anyway, he then proceeded to lay a Cleveland Steamer on his career. On his way to the bank, a.k.a. free agency, dumb-dumb got busted for PED’s. He claims it was prescribed by a medical professional whom he put his trust in. How about putting your trust in Google and your ability to read there, Willy? A pro athlete has one job…to perform! Part of the job description is to take care of your body. Part of taking care of your body is to know what you put in it.

The list of banned substances in the NFL isn’t ‘War and Peace.’ It took me literally 27 seconds to find it, in all of its categorized and alphabetized glory. Instead of throwing shade on an unnamed medical professional, man up and own it home skillet!

The Sports Desk can be reached at editorialtrainwrecksports@gmail.com

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