BY: DUANE A. STEINEL
In the land where people pay homage to a fictional boxer and brag about a greasy sandwich, there lies the legend of the old “Broad Street Bullies.” To make a long story short, they played like a bunch of scumbags, fought fans, and played “Old Time Hockey.” Begrudgingly they won a Stanley Cup in 1975 against the Buffalo Sabres, which featured the infamous “Fog Game,” which also included Sabres forward Jim Lorentz pissing off PETA when he annihilated a bat with his stick on the ice ending its life and going down in history and a fucking Sabres legend.
5.) Ron Hextall
This guy was one crazy asshole. Sometimes more likely to get into a fight than he was to stop a puck, Ron was a pillar in the Flyers organization in the late 1980s and throughout the 1990s. He was the first goalie to ever score a goal in the 1987-88 season and even finished his career with 33 points. Hextall won the Vezina, Art Ross, and Conn Smythe trophies in 1987 when he finished with 37 wins and a .902 save percentage. He would also go on to record 15 playoff wins, falling one short of a Stanley Cup…… It sucks to suck, Ron.
4.) Garth Snow
Honestly, Garth makes this list for two reasons. The first being when in the second round of the 1996-97 playoffs when you squared up with Buffalo’s Steve Shields and got your ass handed to you. We may have lost that series but let’s be real, had Hasek not been injured in the previous round, Buffalo would have rolled you. No disrespect to Steve Shields, but facts are facts. Hasek was the G.O.A.T. and was in prime form that season when he took home both the Vezina and Hart Trophies as the league’s best goalie and MVP. Wait, what are we talking about again? Oh yeah, Garth Snow, and why the hell he’s on this list.
The reason is when he got busted wearing a chest protector that made it look like you have couch cushions attached to your shoulders. You cheater. He was busted by Glen Sather and the Rangers organization in 2003 when they filed a formal complaint with the league. It turns out, Snow’s chest protector was in violation of Rule 21C (v), which states, “If, when the goalie assumes his normal crouch position, the shoulder and/or shoulder cap protection is pushed above the contour of the shoulder, the chest pad will be considered illegal.”. Suck it, Garth.
Snow would finish his career with 135 wins and a 2.80 GAA. He would also go on to ink one of the worst deals in the history of the league. Not as a player, but as a general manager. While serving as general manager of the New York Islanders, Snow would sign former first-overall pick Dick DiPietro to a 15-year contract worth 67.5 million in 2006. His career would be cut short, though, due to hip and knee injuries throughout his career. In 2013, New York would place DiPietro on unconditional waivers and would buy out the remaining $36 million on his contract. DiPietro would agree to be paid two-thirds of his contract’s remaining $36 million and would receive $1.5 million over the next eight seasons. Yeah, Garth, you sucked as a goalie and GM.
3.) John LeClair
John LeClair, who was acquired by the Flyers in 1995 in a trade with the Montreal Canadians, was one of the most respected Flyers in recent memory, which honestly doesn’t say a lot. We’re talking about a city whose fans threw snowballs at Santa Claus during an Eagles game, so respect is a term used very loosely when it comes to Philadephia sports franchises. But LeClair was absolutely one of those few guys you did respect. Even though he scored through the side of the net in the 1999-2000 playoffs while playing Buffalo, it would become known as the “Phantom Goal.” So much for sportsmanship, John. But regardless, LeClair would go on to have a great career with the Flyers, having scored 643 points in 649 games and was the first American-born player to score three consecutive 50-goal seasons while with the Flyers.
LeClair was voted into five All-Star games and won a Stanley Cup while with The Canadians in 1993. He was elected into the US Hockey Hall of Fame in 2009. He also won a Silver Medal with Team USA at the 2002 Olympic Games and was a part of the 1996 US team that would capture the World Cup of Hockey.
2.) Eric Lindros
Eric Lindros was an absolute specimen. Standing at 6-4, the center from London, Ontario, was ready for the NHL from the moment he turned 14 and already had hair on his nuts. He was an absolute man-child on draft day when he went first overall to the Quebec Nordiques in 1991. However, Lindros would never suit up for the Nordiques, as he would later be traded in a blockbuster deal that would include legendary Swedish sensation Peter Forsberg going the other way.
Lindros scored 659 points in 486 games with the Flyers and was a constant thorn in my ass as a Sabres fan. He was everything you wanted in a franchise center. He had the combination of size, skill, play-making, and scoring ability. Unfortunately for Flyers fans, their organization burned a lot of bridges with Lindros. After sustaining what was misdiagnosed as a cracked rib by the team trainer, Lindros became extremely ill in his hotel room and was found by teammate Keith Jones in a bathtub of warm water, gasping for air and pale as a ghost Lindros’s lung had collapsed. After three hours and a ton of confusion, Lindros would finally be admitted to the hospital. The malpractice by the Flyers would get even worse when they scheduled to have Lindros fly commercial back to Philadelphia for surgery. Being in a pressurized aircraft when you have a punctured lung? Sure, put our franchise player in the air. If not for the same teammate that found Lindros fighting for his life in their hotel bathroom Keith Jones, Lindros could have lost his life had he stepped in that plane. Keith insisted that Lindros not get on that plane.
After more squabbling between the team, its head trainer, ownership, agents, and Lindros’ family, the team dealt the star forward in August of 2001 to the New York Rangers. There, Lindros played three seasons with the Blue Shirts, scoring 158 points in 192 games. He ended his career with the Dallas Stars after a short stint in Toronto. He finished his career with 865 points in just 760 games over 13 seasons. He won the Hart Trophy as league MVP, Art Ross Trophy as the league’s leading scorer, and was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in 2016. A career riddled with concussions and other injuries, Lindros could have been so much more than what he was. It just sucks that Philadephia helped ruin what could have been.
1.) Gritty
Okay, so maybe he doesn’t play. But let’s be real, Gritty is an absolute icon. He shakes and bakes. He twerks and makes it work. He drops it like it hot. He’s insanely inappropriate and isn’t afraid to lay a kid out of he’s getting out of hand, literally. Not to mention his Twitter game is absolutely elite. His reenactment of the Kim Kardashian champagne photo was hysterical, and he is willing to fight anyone who thinks a hot dog is a sandwich. I’d absolutely let this guy date my sister without even thinking twice about it. Sign me the fuck up. This beer is for you, Gritty. You and Carter Hart are the only two things that trash organization has going for it right now.
Thanks…I’ll hang up and listen.
The Sports Desk can be reached at editorialtrainwrecksports@gmail.com