Josh Allen Basically Did the Worst Thing That Josh Allen Could Do

People gathered from all over the region yesterday, not to see Aaron Boone overmanage the evil empire, not to see the Blue Jays make fundamental mistakes, not even to hear Conehead’s guarantee. They gathered to see Josh Allen fire a rocket for the first pitch of a Major League Baseball game in Buffalo.

Before people tell me I’m overreacting, you gotta take in the expectation. This wasn’t gonna be a 50 Cent. This wasn’t gonna be a Mariah Carey. This is Joshua Patrick Allen we are talking about. Guy could throw a javelin in Lockport through a cloud above Eden, so 60.6 feet is nothing. As a matter of fact if Josh Allen needed to drag Kyle Van Noy 60.6 feet I’m pretty sure he could.

So don’t tell me I’m overreacting when this was the biggest pitch in Buffalo since BassPro tried to catfish the city hook, line and sinker. Josh went out there WITH A GLOVE. He pitched from the rubber. (cool) he wore amazing Nikes, we just wanted to see him succeed, and this happened. He bounced it. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna do I’m not gonna be in denial. I’m not gonna pretend this didn’t happen. Like Pope of the Process Sean McDermott once said, “Winners know how to turn pain into growth,” and that’s exactly what I plan to do.

A way better tweet would’ve been: “Thanks for having us Blue Jays, but we had to bounce 8-)” Maybe this is a sign that he’s human, that JA17 isn’t the demi-god that we make him out to be. However as a competitor that demands the best from himself you could see the disappointment in his emotions as he walked off the field. Fingers crossed he can mentally bounce back by September. Also, he gave the ball to a kid and made his day because of course he did. TGIF peeps.

P.S.- If you think I’m overreacting look at Allen’s face minutes after the pitch, utter disappointment like someone who got last year’s 2K for Christmas. We are gonna turn this pain into growth.