‘Not a Creature is Stirring’ in New England After Diggs’ Special Instructions
*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.* Bills WR Stefon Diggs (14) politely requests for silence from New England Patriots fans […]
Josh Allen Reportedly Trained with Roy Kent to Break Performance Funk
Written by Danford (@danfordian_) *This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.* Roy Kent staring in absolute disgust at the ‘little pricks’ […]
In Anticipation of a Super Bowl Run, Josh Allen Breaks The Buffalo Curse
*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.* The one man who is stopping the Buffalo Bills from winning a Super Bowl […]
Tired of Success, Pegulas Threaten to Move Buffalo Bills To Austin
*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.* BUFFALO, NY – Continuing their efforts to thwart the welcomed success of their own […]
BREAKING: Buffalo Bills Sign Local Middle Schooler to Learn the Art of Twitter-Trolling
*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.* Butch “Meany Face” McGavin on the verge of dropping absolute heat towards his teammates. […]
BREAKING: WNYers to Receive an Extra Stimulus Check as Compensation for Being a Sabres Fan
BY: DANFORD WASHINGTON, DC – The Congress of the United States of ‘Murica passed a new stimulus bill directed at Western New Yorkers this Friday. Despite the chaos currently rampaging through the legislative branch of the free world, it seems the country was in agreement when it came to Buffalo, NY. A unanimous vote in […]
BREAKING: Buffalo Bills Draft Josh Vinson Jr. With Their First Round Pick
BY: DANFORD CLEVELAND, OH – With their first pick in the 2021 NFL Draft, the Buffalo Bills have selected 4-year-old Josh Vinson Jr. This comes after Josh won the inaugural “Battle of the Joshes,” a fierce competition between over a thousand different people named Josh, of all ages, from all over the country. Josh took […]
BREAKING: CDC Recommends Sabres Fans Don Paper Bags, Reduce Exposure to Losing
*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.* BY: DANFORD BUFFALO, NY – The CDC issued new safety guidelines this Saturday, specifically […]
BREAKING: Ted Lasso to Become Sabres’ Next Head Coach
BY: DANFORD RICHMOND, ENG – After a whirlwind of coaching changes the likes of which any professional sports league has ever seen, the Buffalo Sabres finally have their guy – Ted Lasso. This comes after the swift removal of the previous Sabres head coach, Ralph Krueger. Krueger once famously stated that his team performed poorly […]
BREAKING: Sabres’ HC Ralph Kruger To Send His Players on a Sorority Retreat
BY: DANFORD DESTIN, FL – In a final attempt to bring the Buffalo Sabres out of the NHL’s gutter, HC Ralph Kruger will send his players on a sorority retreat, per inside sources. “The boys really need to get away and connect at a deep, emotional level,” said the head coach of the worst team […]