Merry Christmas, BillsMafia… time to let yourself experience joy without fear

The universe obviously has a sense of humor. The resurgence of the Buffalo Bills after 25 years of despair is over. Bringing an end to this nightmare in the midst of a pandemic seems all too ‘Billsy’.

However, it may be time for us to consider officially retiring our sad sack image and joining the world of the joyous, where all things are possible. It’s time to move forward.

How in the world are we going to undo decades of conditioning ourselves to expect the worst possible twist of fate around every corner? Well, you’re in luck because ‘The Caboose’ has a few tips on that score to pass along.

In my work with people who experience post traumatic stress (PTS), we had the goal of attempting to create a disconnect between a triggering experience and the Pavlovian cascade of cortisol that unabashedly erupts every time it happens.

Through massive amounts of internal exploration, most often we could uncover what I like to call a core trigger. A core trigger may not be related to the actual trauma experienced, but is generated from the psychological issues a person has yet to address in their lives.

For example, very often a person who witnesses war crimes equate explosive sounds as triggers that result in maladaptive responses. The stress response lets loose and all sorts of negative behavior usually ensues.

There’s all sorts of strategies in place to deal with stress reduction. When clients would ask me for one, I was always quick to let them know there isn’t one strategy that works for everyone. We carefully laid out a specific treatment plan… based on guess what?

The core trigger.

So, as in our example… even though loud sounds trigger revisiting horrible experiences, the treatment plan has to be more than about “dealing with the horrible experience” and more about figuring out WHY you’re not allowing yourself to move on.

Because you CAN move on.

You may not ever be the same after traumatic experiences, but I would argue you can be even BETTER.

Getting back to the core trigger and doing the soul-searching necessary to get it dealt with isn’t easy. Truthfully, from my observations over the years most people in therapy won’t be honest enough with themselves to really get at the core trigger.

So what the hell is an example of a core trigger?

This list is by all means only a tip of the iceberg, but here are a few.

Fear of failure

Fear of success

Fear of being alone

Fear of dying is a big one I dealt with in my hospice work.

MONEY in the sense of not having enough of it to satisfy ourselves

The list goes on.

My point to all of this is to suggest that we can use the powerful example of our Buffalo Bills to thrust ourselves out of expecting the worst and depriving ourselves of moments of pure unadulterated joy.

So what if the Bills go one and done in the playoffs? You going to let that stop you from dancing under the mistletoe tonight? I’m not.

You going to let the fear of losing another Super Bowl rob you of the chance to cherish the beginning moments of what could be the most beautiful era yet in Buffalo Bills football?

If you want to let go of the past, then just ask yourself this.

What are you really afraid of and why?

~Merry Christmas From The Caboose~