By Alex “MereKat” LeMere
To preface this blog, I want to point out the fact that after many years of holding out, I finally caved and watched The Sopranos. I won’t get into my complete dissection of the beloved series, I loved it, but I had to write about a certain scene that jumped out at me involving two things I love:
Gambling and the Buffalo Bills.
To set the stage, we see Tony, Silvio, Paulie, and some other cohorts seem to be in the back of The Bing (a popular strip club owned by Silvio Dante, called The Bada Bing, which houses Tony’s office and is a hub for the crime family) sitting at some tables watching some football.
Let me tell you; the vibes are high in this scene off the rip. Zombie Nation’s “Woah Oh Oh” is blasting on the loudspeakers, there seems to be a plethora of exotic dancers working on a fine Sunday afternoon in the background and plenty of alcohol present as they gaze at a gallery of TVs playing the games they have money on.
There’s one game in particular that has the attention of Tony and the crew, though:
The Buffalo Bills versus the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
After reviewing the scene, I can tell that the game’s being set up for us with the Bills trailing the Bucs 24-22 in the final minute of the game, inside the Tampa 30 with a third and 2…and JP Losman under center for the Buffalo with the game on the line.
It seems as Mr. Soprano has Tampa Bay -3 in this game because when Benny Fazio leans over to him and asks, “You got Buffalo, right, T?” to which Tony replies, “No, line is 3. I’ll settle for a push”.
They never make it clear if he’s giving or getting 3, but I assume he means Bucs +3…if it was -3, he’s already dead without a turnover return for TD by the Bucs with the Bills trailing by just two. If they were to just kick a FG, they win by one, and a TD, they win by four, so Bucs -3 makes no sense for the sweat, and I’m rolling with the logical assumption he’s on the +3.
As a proud member of #BillsMafia, what happens next is something I wish would’ve happened in real life. You can watch the scene here:
Breaking down “The Play”
Buffalo snaps the ball, electing to go for the touchdown and not the field goal for some reason, to JP Losman with just 12 seconds left on the clock and about 10 yards to pay dirt. Losman goes to pitch the ball to his running back but instead seemingly tosses the ball to the right into the pulling left guards ass.
This is where things get wonky, folks, and I had to rewatch the scene 4,287 times.
The ball somehow is jettisoned into the air after rolling on the ground post-OG butt fumble as the ball went through the guards legs. This was either an incredibly strong, odd bounce by the ball or just poor video-editing.
The ball nearly makes it to its intended target, the running back, but falls down and is jumped on by a Buffalo receiver coming back around Tampa’s 13-yard line. The receiver, #81 (maybe Peerless Price!?), has all his momentum away from the end zone and tries to pull back around the line at about the Tampa 17-yard line. Thing’s get real dicey when a Buccaneers’ defender lights up our beloved Bills #81 to cause a second fumble on the play.
At this point, we get a close-up of Tony as he’s sweating more than a politician near a lie-detector. If I’m watching this play and need Buffalo to blow it…this play scares this shit out of me. You never want to see chaos on the final play because chaos spawns unpredictability in sports gambling. Tony knows this too as he has a look like he knows how awful of a beat he’s about to be handed by gotdamn JP Losman.
Back to the action, we just saw Bills’ #81 fumble the ball for the play’s second fumble. This time the ball is knocked backwards again, right towards the waiting arms of good ol’ JP.
Losman scoops the ball up at about the Tampa 23-yard line like it’s a child and takes off running. AND I MEAN RUNNING.
Losman takes off up the right sideline like the Russians are in Rochester with the clock at five seconds and his team losing by two. The clock ticks from :01 to zero as Losman fights the hit and crosses the goal line for the game-winning touchdown.
Buffalo beats Tampa 28-24, and Tony suffers one of the most disgusting beats I’ve ever witnessed at the hands of JP Losman.
The lone Buffalo fan at The Bing screams, “BUFFALO! FUCKING-A!” as he twirls a woman in celebration. I think it’s worth noting they made sure to have the Buffalo fan hit a lot of the ill-mannered stereotypes in just a few seconds:
- Easily the loudest person at the bar
- Standing right at the bar, assumed to be drunk
- Conveniently right next to two large foil trays of chicken wing
Tony is now down lord only knows how much money after that beat, and if I were him, in his position, I would’ve probably burnt The Bing to the ground right there and then. Instead, Tony denies another beer and walks into the back room, where he smashes everything he can in the heated frenzy of a bad beat.
I mean a double-fumble that JP Losman then picked up, who speeds untouched down the sideline for the score that screws your bet. Not to mention, Buffalo should’ve just kicked a FG in that situation and not the score which would’ve saw them still win and Tony’s +3 hit.
AN ALL-TIME AWFUL BEAT. Maybe top five ever, and it wasn’t even real.
The MereKat Fact Checker:
Now, not to be the bearer of bad news, but there was A LOT wrong with this scene. Things that either didn’t line up or just were incorrect details. You know I have to point them out as a degenerate gambler and Bills fan.
1. What line did Tony even have?
At the beginning of the scene, Tony says he doesn’t have the Bills, that the line is 3, and he’ll settle for a push while the game has a score of 24-22. So I ruled out Tampa -3 because that play was already shot unless he was relying on a Bills’ turnover that resulted in a TD for the Tampa defense. So I wrote all of this, assuming he has Tampa +3. If Buffalo kicks the FG or fails to score, he’d win his bet with just a TD crushing his hopes…but he says he’ll take a push? How the hell does a team push +3 while up 2? Nothing there could’ve resulted in just a Tampa push. A pretty confusing, obvious blunder here.
2. These teams never played when this season taking place.
Season 6 of The Sopranos was split into two parts. The first 12 episodes were released in 2006 and the final nine in 2007. The show is supposed to be set in those years they were released…but the Bills didn’t play the Buccaneers in 2006 or 2007. This can be explained because the show was probably filmed the prior year in 2005, where the Bills did travel to Tampa Bay for a game (09/18/2005, Bills lost 19-3), but it’s still off. JP Losman did make his first NFL road start that day too, but never came close to winning the game, never fumbled, and even saw Kelly Holcomb come in for some snaps in the fourth quarter. Oh, and he certainly didn’t have a rush over seven yards.
3. The jerseys aren’t even close to being correct.
I know, licensing and copyrights and all that good jazz…but what the actual hell were these? Nothing like the Bills’ away jerseys at the time (anywhere from 2005-07, I guess). How are they going to use the Bills and even JP Losman but not get the jerseys in the same ballpark? It’s a combination of Dallas Cowboys silver training pants with a (I’m assuming) blue stripe pattern, a somewhat modern Houston Texans jersey with…red lettering, a silver, blue (again, I think) striped helmet with some blob logo on the side you can never make out, and white tube socks. A bit different from the usual away combo, oh, a white jersey with blue letters and either solid navy or white pants with red socks. These were nowhere close and almost looked like they had a big bag of extra shit they had donated or made for scenes like these, threw some shit together, and said no one will notice…WELL, I NOTICED, DAVID CHASE.
Oh, and JP Losman was #7, not #16.
There were some other little things that I don’t want to get into with the fact-checker, like the movement of the ball after the first fumble, but I’m no physicist.
I hope you folks enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. It’s always so cool when the Buffalo Bills cross into media, whether it be in music (“Okay, it’s Gudda, HO. All about my Bills like Buffalo.” is a personal favorite) or in TV and movies like this instance. And shout out to JP Losman.
The Sports Desk can be reached at editorialtrainwrecksports@gmail.com
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