Written By Jordan Rosas
1. Arizona Cardinals (8-1)
Last Week: 2
High: 1
Low: 6
No QB1. No WR1. No WR2. No RB1 for most of the game. TE1 still on IR. No problem. The Cardinals didn’t just win without their best offensive playmakers at each skill position, they dominated. Sooner or later, injuries hit, and the mark of a great team is who can win with adversity. This is probably the best team, the most complete team, and the deepest team in the league all rolled together. They just cooked a respectable 49ers team 31-17 with Colt McCoy and James Conner.
2. Tennessee Titans (7-2)
Last Week: 12
High: 2
Low: 27
I only moved them down last week because they lost Derrick Henry. They certainly proved this week that they could win without him, as they crushed the Rams in prime time in front of California royalty. Adrian Peterson got about as much work as would be expected from someone who hasn’t had time to learn the playbook. However, he did throw an icy spin move that shouldn’t be possible for 36 year old legs. For all the talk about how bad this defense is, they’ve shown up in big moments. It was a crazy week that saw plenty of great teams suck. The Titans weren’t among them.
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-2)
Last Week: 7
High: 1
Low: 9
If there was ever a bad juju week to sit out, this was it. Plenty of players got some much needed recovery time, but the fact that Antonio Brown is apparently still in a walking boot, weeks after what was described as a minor injury, is a bit concerning. The Bucs may not have played, but they also didn’t get embarrassed, like pretty much every other semi-competent team in the league. By default, they move up, and Tom Brady becomes the betting favorite for MVP. How convenient.
4. Baltimore Ravens (6-2)
Last Week: 9
High: 2
Low: 14
The Vikings aren’t a bad team, and Lamar Jackson is great, but if they’re relying on comeback heroics too consistently, they won’t make it far in the playoffs. Marquise Brown pretty much has a part time gig with the Ravens at this point. If he could play in the first half the same way he does in the second, he’d be the next Jerry Rice.
5. Cleveland Browns (5-4)
Last Week: 20
High: 3
Low: 20
There are plenty of analytics to comb through when measuring teams. Then there’s certain things in the NFL that don’t make sense, but just are. The Browns with Odell Beckham Jr is one such curiosity. Most would agree that the wideout is talented, and yet the Browns offense never seemed to click with him in it. As soon as he and the team parted ways, they lit up the Bengals. Remember that he was hurt for most of last season, which culminated in the Browns’ first playoff win in high definition television.
6. New England Patriots (5-4)
Last Week: 10
High: 6
Low: 26
For years, the Patriots have found success by buying into a counterfeit underdog story. This year, they’re actually underdogs. They’re quietly beating the good teams in the AFC. Sleep on them at your own risk. They may not be a great team, but they’re not having the sloppy games that the rest of the league has had. All of their losses have been close, and their only conference loss was in week 1. That game was against Miami, so they’ll have a chance to avenge it.
7. Los Angeles Chargers (5-3)
Last Week: 11
High: 3
Low: 14
Lots of teams had head scratching losses, but the Chargers got a win over the inconsistent Eagles in what felt like a good week for Philadelphia. Austin Ekeler suffered his annual injury, but didn’t miss any time. Justin Herbert has had growing pains, but with no clear cut, consistently hot team in the AFC, that’s not really a problem this year. The AFC is wide open, and the Chargers have as good a shot as anyone.
8. Pittsburgh Steelers (5-3)
Last Week: 16
High: 7
Low: 21
Squeaking out a win over the Bears isn’t much to brag about, but a win in any form is good enough this week. They’re not a great team, but they are a competent one, and right now, that’s half the AFC. Rookie TE Pat Freiermuth caught 5 of 6 for 43 yards and 2 TDs. Both him and fellow rookie Najee Harris continue to endear themselves to a franchise that loves smashmouth football.
9. Buffalo Bills (5-3)
Last Week: 4
High: 1
Low: 11
This team deserves to plummet for that embarrasing no-show in Jacksonville. Luckily for them, most of the other teams at this level also deserve to plummet after this week, so I guess we can call it a mulligan for everybody. There are now glaring issues for this team though. The offensive line was as ineffective as the Bengals line was last year. An all OL 2022 draft class isn’t a crazy idea at this point. That being said, athletes get superstar contracts because they’re supposed to be able to pick up the slack for the lesser athletes around them. Josh Allen absolutely did not do that. We’ll pretend that he intentionally tried to get as many Josh Allen x Josh Allen stats as possible. The defense once again deserves a ton of credit, as it was the 3rd time this season that they didn’t allow a TD.
10. Green Bay Packers (7-2)
Last Week: 1
High: 1
Low: 20
The Packers have been a consistent source of drama, as the Aaron Rodgers saga took a new turn. The team stuck Jordan Love‘s family in the worst nosebleed seats Arrowhead stadium had to offer. It was probably for the best. No matter who the Packers play at QB, if it’s not Aaron Rodgers, the team falls apart. With Rodgers and none of their top receivers, they beat the Cardinals. With their top receivers and no Rodgers, they lost 13-7 to the Chiefs. When they have Aaron, they’re immediately a Super Bowl contender. Without him, put a fork in them; they’re done.
11. Denver Broncos (5-4)
Last Week: 22
High: 11
Low: 25
They just spanked the Cowboys 30-16, and those 16 points came in garbage time. They won last week too. It was easy to discount their Mickey Mouse 3-0 start, especially when they followed it up with a 4 game losing streak, but maybe we were too quick to judge. They’ve got Jerry Jeudy back, and both RBs looked good this week. At 5-4, they’re certainly right in the heat of the AFC race.
12. Los Angeles Rams (7-2)
Last Week: 5
High: 1
Low: 12
For a while now, the gameplan against the Titans has been simple: take away Derrick Henry. On Sunday night, that part was already taken care of for the Rams, and apparently they had absolutely no idea what to do next. The last time Adrian Peterson was a top tier back, Los Angeles didn’t have an NFL team. I’ve been critical of the Rams trading away nearly a decade of draft picks, and I had doubts about Matt Stafford. I’m not ready to say the trade was a mistake, but he certainly looked every bit the part of the QB who never won anything his first decade+ in the league.
13. Dallas Cowboys (6-2)
Last Week: 3
High: 3
Low: 13
The Cowboys handled the Broncos about as well as city slickers who’ve never seen a horse. They couldn’t score until garbage time, while ceding and bleeding points every quarter to Denver. It was a weird week across the NFL, but few teams were as puzzling as the Cowboys. Dallas has long been a historic franchise, but this looked like their first rodeo.
14. Seattle Seahawks (3-5)
Last Week: 14
High: 8
Low: 25
Things are looking up for Seattle. Their bye week saved them from the carnage of upsets this week, and Russell Wilson could be back next week.
15. Indianapolis Colts (4-5)
Last Week: 15
High: 13
Low: 27
The Colts are looking better and better. They overpowered the Jets as they should have, yet the 45-30 game still felt unnecessarily close, considering the Jets played most of the game with a 3rd string QB. Jonathan Taylor is still an efficiency nightmare for opposing teams, but until the Colts are at least .500, it’s tough to justify ranking them above average.
16. Las Vegas Raiders (5-3)
Last Week: 6
High: 5
Low: 20
What a brutal month for this franchise. The team has now cut both first round picks from 2020: CB Damon Arnette, who posted a video threatening to kill someone, and of course, WR Henry Ruggs III, who… actually killed someone. The fact that Arnette posted such a disturbing video so closely following the Ruggs tragedy suggests a major culture problem. The Gruden situation alone should have been enough cause for serious self-reflection and maturing. That such awful incidents continue to occur is deeply troubling. What was once a promising team, just got beat by the lowly Giants. This team is raiding their own success with self-inflicted wounds.
17. Atlanta Falcons (4-4)
Last Week: 26
High: 17
Low: 30
Is it time to start putting some respect on the Falcons? They’re a .500 team that just beat last year’s division winner. They have a potent, if inconsistent offense, and the defense has been competent lately. The final score was 27-25, but it was 17-3 Atlanta heading into the 4th quarter. Perhaps ALMOST blowing a lead, but still winning helps this damaged franchise relearn how to be winners and undo the 28-3 curse.
18. Kansas City Chiefs (5-4)
Last Week: 21
High: 1
Low: 26
A win over the Packers looks good on the schedule, but historically, Green bay teams have been completely lost when Rodgers misses time, so I’m not all that impressed by the win, especially considering the Chiefs only put up 13 points. I am however, very impressed that the defense only allowed 7 points. Rodgers or not, holding any NFL team to under 10 is a big defensive accomplishment. It’s even more significant for a unit that has been bottom of the barrel all year. If they can build from this performance, they might just salvage their season yet.
19. Philadelphia Eagles (3-6)
Last Week: 13
High: 13
Low: 23
The Eagles lost a close game to a Chargers team that has been in a downward spiral the past few weeks. It’s a loss the Eagles can hardly afford, as they’re now 3 games below .500 halfway through the season. They’re running the ball effectively, but the passing attack is being minimized. Just 17 passing attempts and only 11 completions by Jalen Hurts. Only 4 Eagles caught a pass this week.
20. Minnesota Vikings (3-5)
Last Week: 18
High: 13
Low: 23
The Vikings have not been a bad team, and they’ve had a fairly difficult schedule, but sooner or later, they need to stop losing these close games. No one has beat them by more than 7 points, and 3 of their 5 losses have been decided by 3 points or less. No matter what the score is though, at the end of the day, 5 teams have beaten them. It would be great to be able to win close games, but it would be even better to be able to put teams away early. At the very least, they’ve proven they can hang with the best teams in the league.
21. New York Giants (3-6)
Last Week: 24
High: 18
Low: 30
It hasn’t been an easy year for Big Blue, but hopefully the worst is over. Saquon Barkley may actually be ready to return this time, and if not, Devontae Booker has shown flashes of competence. They just beat a very vulnerable, but good Raiders team. That’s how it goes for subpar teams like this though. They have to steal wins where they can.
22. New Orleans Saints (5-3)
Last Week: 8
High: 2
Low: 23
It should have been an easy week for the Saints, particularly for the offense. They had a divisional matchup with the Falcons, who have one of the worst defenses in the league. They held the Saints scoreless in the first half. The Saints managed a single field goal in the 3rd quarter, but gave up a TD to the Falcons. New Orleans did get things going in the 4th, putting up 22 points, but they had dug themselves such a deep hole by that point, they couldn’t climb out, and lost 27-25. They could bounce back, but they also have some significant injuries and pieces missing for the rest of the year.
23. Cincinnati Bengals (5-4)
Last Week: 17
High: 7
Low: 23
A week after losing to the Jets, the Bengals responded by getting dominated by the Browns. There’s uh, not much else to say. Joe Mixon was effective, but he only got 13 carries as the game got out of hand in a hurry. The rest of the AFC North won, and the Bengals are now in last place. The bittersweet silver lining is that last week’s shocking loss to the Jets seems a bit more understandable now.
24. Chicago Bears (3-6)
Last Week: 23
High: 16
Low: 25
The Bears lost a tough one in Pittsburgh. They’re not a good team this year, but they battled hard, and unfortunately, officiating might have been the difference maker. At the end of the day though, they’ve lost twice as many games as they’ve won. A few coulda woulda shoulda’s isn’t going to change that.
25. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6)
Last Week: 30
High: 25
Low: 32
In the battle of Josh Allen… Josh Allens… Joshes Allen, JA2K, etc, there was a clear winner, and it was Josh Allen. The one drafted 7th overall. He dominated Josh Allen and forced the former 7th overall pick to have his worst game of the season. Together, the two nameplate twins did pretty much everything well except throw the football. On the other side of the ball, Jacksonville’s offense was without its best player, and it showed. Carlos Hyde was a clear downgrade, and the imbalance allowed the Bills to shut down the passing game.
26. San Francisco 49ers (3-5)
Last Week: 19
High: 13
Low: 26
George Kittle picked up right where he left off in his first game back from injury. That didn’t stop the Cardinals from reminding the Niners exactly where they stand in the NFC West pecking order. If the 49ers can’t beat Arizona without Kyler Murray, DeAndre Hopkins, AJ Green, JJ Watt, and Chase Edmonds, they simply don’t have a shot in this division.
27. Washington Football Team (2-6)
Last Week: 27
High: 15
Low: 27
It was a bad week for good teams and a good week for bad teams, which means Washington probably wished they could have gotten in on the madness. Instead, Antonio Gibson got an extra week to heal up, and the best team in the NFC East from a year ago is now firmly in last place.
28. Carolina Panthers (4-5)
Last Week: 25
High: 7
Low: 28
So much for Christian McCaffrey being the answer to all their problems. The star RB wasn’t back at 100% yet, but the team lost 24-6 and didn’t score a single TD all game. A fully healthy CMC might have upped the score a bit, but there was just no way this team was winning that game. Sam Darnold is hurt, but even his hot start to the season has trailed off.
29. Miami Dolphins (2-7)
Last Week: 29
High: 12
Low: 31
How much credit do they deserve for beating the team with the worst point differential in the league? The Texans are losing by an average margin of 14 points this year. Miami beat them by 8. Still, a win, any win, has to feel good for a team that’s lost every game since week 1. After last week’s solid first half against Buffalo and now an actual win over Houston, maybe the Dolphins can build from this. That run game is still atrociously inefficient though, as they averaged 1.9 yards per carry on 25 run plays.
30. New York Jets (2-6)
Last Week: 28
High: 28
Low: 32
In typical Jets fashion, as soon as things started to look good, reality came in hot. Mike White was sizzling last week, and had a great start this week, until he injured his forearm. Josh Johnson, formerly of pretty much every team in the league, and was slinging dimes. It wasn’t enough to get the win, but 30 points is much more than this offense usually puts up. The run game was workable, and if the defense can tighten up, this team just might become competitive.
31. Houston Texans (1-8)
Last Week: 31
High: 25
Low: 32
Even worse than ending Miami’s 7 game losing streak was watching Tyrod Taylor turn the ball over 3 times. The QB has been overly conservative to a fault, so this was certainly an uncharacteristic game from his to say the least. The Texans defense actually was respectable, and at the very least, they didn’t get blown out like most weeks. It’s not impossible to win games without getting in the endzone, but it is pretty tough, as the Texans learned this week.
32. Detroit Lions (0-8)
Last Week: 32
High: 24
Low: 32
At least they’re not the only 8 loss team now, right? We really have to reach to find any positives about the Lions at this point. They spent their bye week thinking about how they’re halfway through the season and still haven’t won a game.
Last week’s rankings from Jordan for reference, here.
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