Disclaimer: The Real Housewives are superstars. It’s fair to say that mathematically it’s just as difficult to become a Real Housewive on BRAVO as it is to play professional sports, if not moreso. For these reasons, my analysis of RHONY and RHOBH will reflect their stature.
Power Rankings Following Episode 4
1. Eboni Williams 2. Leah McSweeney 3. Ramona Singer 4. Luann de Lesseps 5. Sonja Morgan
Big RHONY episode as Heather continues her rampage, we saw some cracks in the foundation last week, will they seal it up or will the issues continue. We are still at Ramona’s in the Hamptons. “I’ll get on top for 30 seconds then I’m like, ok” – Leah, as she rolls her eyes. My dad enjoys a glass of Caymus, so this is phenomenal.
Heather probes for details before the housewives realize they are falling right into her trap. I have to say that as big as the squabbles get between these broads, the way they can address and acknowledge them is really world-class so kudos to them. Eboni and Sonja POP OFF and its amazing. Again-again-again-again Ramona doesn’t like talking about sex, what is her deal I mean sex sells and its huge on this show. #OKBOOMER
Luann re-emerges and wins the appearance vote from everyone then goes to bed. Pretty interesting decision by the countess so I’m not gonna go against it. “Sometimes its better to call it a night.” Very mature perspective from Luann. Ramona then continues about how she wasn’t brought up to talk about sex. “She has a W.P.” IS A PHRASE SHE MUTTERS LMAO. Leah please never change. Then Ramona does her best Billy Fucillo impression, dropping 5 huges in a second. Ramona fucks apparently. Eboni: “I just heard you say you could take a big dick” she is so amazing. “Do ladies talk about p’s and c’s and d’s?” (I’m pretty sure she’s referring to the same thing) Why do I feel like Eboni is gonna be victimized by Heather’s podcast. Please don’t let that happen.
NEXT MORNING “Why Is it when we get together we always have to talk about penises?” and Sonja is BEAMING about it lmao. Eboni says she needs to apologize to Ramona, but whatever. Heather loves the tea according to Sonja, amazing. “My experience, my podcast” lmfao Heather who the fuck do u think u are. Ramona and Heather have one of those hilarious conversations where they disagree on the broad strokes, but then agree they are on the “same page.”
Everyone thinks Garth is so fucking hot, holy shit these broads are horned up. #FoodandNude LIVE DRAWING…”What can we do that’s different in the Hamptons?” Paint some penis.
“We like to look chic, you didn’t get the memo.” -Ramona. I love how RAMONA HAS A ‘LOWER LEVEL’ not a basement just a great story sub plot literally and figuratively. “This is so rude of you.” RAMONA HANGRY ALERT RAMONA SCREAM Next we meet Kurt who is a “Professional poser” a lot of people would’ve described me that way in high school. Holy fuck the food spread looks amazing. Oh no, Luann is talking about how dependable Garth is. This can’t end well. Finally Eboni and Leah make it… looking amazing. Eboni seems like an all star at putting up with bullshit. Luann trying to setup Sonja, why can’t Sonja have an open mind. “Take your head out of Garth’s ass” lmaoaoaoao “Im offering up an artist hes a guy hes a male he has a penis” -Luann
They are really making this dude whipping his dick out the main event of this episode, and you know what?? Thats fair. What an episode for Kurt. That’s all I can say. “Inbetweenie weenie” This is like Chappelles Show when Dave marries Oprah. “I’ve never been so hands off with a naked man in front of me” -Sonja “You gave him a big ol Cardi B ass”
Eboni being an A+++ friend with Leah as she has a moment regarding our grandmother. Boogers on her Burberry. Of course, Leah lashes out in this sequence telling Ramona that she shouldn’t be such a prude. It then leads to the iconic:” “You’re a hoe you’re a hoe you’re a hoe you’re a hoe biggest hoes ever” Is heather trying to be the voice of clarity? All my homies hate Heather WHITE FRAGILITY…uhoh Eboni is about to put herself on an island Tbh im not sure who’s right in this discussion…its tough. “It’s trash” and WE GET A TO BE CONTINUED
Power Rankings Following Episode 5
- Sonja Morgan 2. Eboni Williams 3. Leah McSweeney 4. Luan de Lesseps 5. Ramona Singer