BY: DANFORD
CLEVELAND, OH – With their first pick in the 2021 NFL Draft, the Buffalo Bills have selected 4-year-old Josh Vinson Jr.
This comes after Josh won the inaugural “Battle of the Joshes,” a fierce competition between over a thousand different people named Josh, of all ages, from all over the country. Josh took home the coveted title after absolutely smacking the remaining Josh with his pool noodle.
“We know it’ll be a few years, but it’s a good investment in the team’s future,” said Bills HC Sean McDermott, “the kid’s got spirit. He’s a winner, and we’ve already had some great luck with guys named Josh. I think this Josh has the potential to be better than the one we have right now, even!”
It was initially a tough call for the Buffalo Bills on draft night, as management was torn between Vinson Jr. and Clemson RB Travis Etienne. What ultimately pushed the Bills towards Vinson Jr. was his only statement after winning the “Battle of the Joshes”:
“I always fight everyone.”
The Bills immediately made their pick.
*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.*
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