BREAKING: The Buffalo Sabres WON a GAME (NOT SATIRE!)

Flyers rally to 4-3 OT win, as Sabres winless skid hits 18 | NHL |  lancasteronline.com
Sabres’ players smile (a rare sight!) after finally winning a hockey game. This snaps their 18-game losing streak, now tied for the longest in said category in NHL history.

BY: DANFORD

BUFFALO, NY – You read that headline right, folks. After what felt like an eternity, the Buffalo Sabres have won an actual hockey game. An impressive feat, I know.

I’m going to be real with all of you – this brings me zero joy (besides the players finally getting to smile again). I am not happy that we are “moving in the right direction.” 

You wanna know why? Because we’ve been told we’re “moving in the right direction” for over a decade now. And despite some signs of progress, here we are 10 years later, operating as the penultimate laughingstock of the entire league. 

I am not going to celebrate that we are “trending up” after almost BREAKING THE RECORD FOR WORST TEAM IN NHL HISTORY. I don’t care that we were able to score a bunch of goals against a team that subconsciously felt bad for us. 

If I’m being honest, I don’t know what the Sabres organization could do at this point to reignite my interest in the team again. Like many other battle-worn fans, I’m about done with following the Sabres and their eternal struggle to climb out of the gutter. I don’t watch the games anymore. I barely know who’s on the team – and why would I? We sign these “great” players who are all-stars elsewhere in the NHL, just to be served lackluster performances that don’t benefit our team whatsoever. Oh, and then they go win Stanley Cups with another organization when we trade them for virtually nothing. 

The inaction from the Pegulas, combined with the seemingly apathetic attitude of our Captain, are the cherry on top for what has created a lack of faith and loss of interest in a team I used to love and a sport I used to be passionate about. 

Talk to me when the Sabres are in the playoffs again and count me in as a bandwagon fan. I’ve had enough.

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*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.*

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