*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.*
BY: DANFORD
HYPE HOUSE, CA – In a last-minute attempt to drive up ratings for their night-long spectacle, the NFL announced on Saturday that Super Bowl XV would be preceded by the “super hip” and “totally tubular” Meme Bowl I.
This comes following the resounding success of Nickelodeon’s broadcast for the NFL Wild Card Playoff game between the Chicago Bears and the New Orleans Saints.
“The kids certainly enjoy the slime and SpongeBob,” said Roger Goodell, Commissioner of the NFL, “but you know what kids REALLY love? Three words: Fortnite. TikTok. Memes. Dogecoin. Need I say less?”
Meme Bowl I will kick off with a beautiful performance of Gen Z’s anthem, “Adderall (Corvette Corvette),” sung by world-renowned artist Pop Hunna. Pittsburgh Steelers WR and Meme Lord JuJu Smith-Schuster will stand adjacent to Pop Hunna at midfield as the presiding sign language interpreter.
This “dummy lit” event will consist of two teams – Team Dog Water (not to be confused with Puppy Bowl XVII) and Team YEET – competing in a series of challenges. These challenges include: Fortnite dancing (last person standing), thirst trapping, and viral videoing.
The half-time show will feature singer-songwriter Olivia Rodrigo singing her #1 hit “drivers license” to a socially distanced audience that only consists of Joshua Bassett and Sabrina Carpenter.
When all is said and done, the winning meme team will receive a whopping 100,000 Dogecoin to keep for themselves.
Make sure to tune in folks!
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